Welcome to 'Waiting for TJ'

We have a family blog about our two daughters, Jiejieandmeimei.blogspot.com. When we began the paper chase for a young man named Tianjun, we created a new web home for him. Since he will be about 7 years old when he joins our family, and not an infant as Jiejie and Meimei were, we want to give him as much history as we can as a member of our family, starting with our first look at a photo of him.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Mouths of Babes

When the kids went back to school after holidays, and the teacher asked what they had done on their winter break, Meimei volunteered that the family had gone to The Cloisters.
"The toy store," said the teacher. "How nice."
I hope Davyn did not stamp her foot at school as she did at home when she loudly reenacted correcting the teacher. "I SAID The CLOISTERS!"
"That's a very nice museum," the teacher said.

Meimei tells us that Martin Luther King did not want black people to play baseball (?)

She also has some questions about how people lived in "those Egypt houses that look like triangles."


TJ assured us vociferously at breakfast that there is no dog in the Chinese zodiac. Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that dog-loving Meimei was born in the year of the dog and she and TJ (born in the year of the horse) have been at odds lately. Mommy showed him a zodiac chart, which he pronounced erroneous, citing his teacher. Meimei cried into her cereal.

TJ's rapidly expanding vocabulary has lately included the word "stupid." Repeatedly. Always accompanied by a gleeful cackle. He was having way more fun with the word than it's worth. He called me stupid. "Well, that's not very nice," I said lamely, but "why is it so funny? Let me try. 'I'm stupid, I'm stupid!'" TJ was doubled over with laughter.
"Mama," he said, "is a bra."
"What?!"
TJ explained that Jiejie told him that "stupid" meant "breast." When Jiejie got home, I asked her.
"That's not what I said," she told me. "I told him a boob was a stupid person."

TJ is really catching on to sounding out words. He performed admirably in a game of Scrabble Slam and read me the labels of some special cat food we got for our ailing 21-year-old pet Sluggo, but has expressed some concern about a sheet of paper in his school folder that mentions Grade 2. He likes first grade and wants to stay there.  Perhaps the little bites of academic triumph he is experiencing have an unexpected taste.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

More Holiday Tidbits

Jiejie (explaining Hanukkah to TJ): It's when the Jews were fighting the Epiphanies.

TJ: (digging throuh Hanukkah goodie bag) Is it my Hanukkah or everybody's Hanukkah?

Meimei: Can I sing my song again? It came upon a midnight clear, that glorious song of all. With angels  (what are they doing, Mom? Bending? OK!) bending near the earth to touch their harps of gold.

Jiejie: Mom, why do these candy bars have Santa on them?

Mom: Oh no! I couldn't find any gelt so I got the million-dollar-bill bars.

TJ: Mrs. Hart say that George Washington guy on the money is the last president!

Jiejie: He was the first president.

TJ: No! Mrs. Hart say!!!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Holiday Tidbits

Meimei: (singing) Are we like sheep have gone astray-ay-ay-ay-ay. Ding! Ding! (that's the triangle)? Why do I have to be a sheep and wear ears?

TJ: (Chiming in) I'll tell you a story that's old and yet new. About Judah. Judah? What his name, Mama?

Mom: Maccabee. Your dad is going to love this.

Jiejie: (Poking finger  at and then through tissue-wrapped Hanukkah present). How do they get the sparkles in the paper. Oops! it's soft. Hmmm. Is it a towel?

Sunday, December 4, 2011

What a Difference a Year Makes

On Monday it will be a year since we met TJ.
How much he has grown and changed and
become himself. But it's too late tonight
to post more than this photo from tonight.

More to come ...

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Sweet Things

Our first few moments as a family of five, 12/2010.
Meimei decides the perfect Thanksgiving dessert for her class is: Brownies! (Brownies?) She makes them almost all by herself and in the morning she decorates them with lots of sprinkles. (OK, I tried to keep the sprinkles in the orange family in some homage to the holiday). When I got home from work she listed by name all four kids who partook.

Jiejie and TJ are upset that Meimei got have her own baking time and did not share the bowl-licking. Mommy will try to make it up to them by enlisting their aid in some projects that will appear on the Thanksgiving table.


A few days ago I was talking about how corporal punishment (and evil name-calling) on the part of teachers used to be common in school, at least the ones I attended. I still remember the sting of the yardstick across the backs of my legs at rest time in Kindergarten when I got too chatty, and the time the second-grade teacher held a girl by the neck and shook her, and the awful thing the sixth-grade teacher said to a chubby boy who ended up being a football star and police officer.

These stories percolated around in TJ's mind for a few days, and last night he told me, "Mama, I go to a bad school in China too." Since he has a strict rule of secrecy about anything related to China, no doubt imposed quite firmly by someone else, I was all ears. Well, the "bad school" seems to have had some physical punishment, but nothing TJ would go into detail about. He did say there was no paper and no crayons, so no drawing, which explains his reluctance to pick up the crayons at home.
"There was only reading and reading," he said. When I asked if the teachers were better in China or in the U.S., the boy who hates school gave a resounding vote to the local elementary school.

"Remember when I only knew how to spell TJ and Sonic," he said. Sonic, as in the hedgehog, was the first word he learned to spell. He is acquiring reading skills slowly and shies away from practicing at home. Now that his tonsils and adenoids and ear tubes have been taken care of, we can see there is still some sort of auditory processing issue that needs to be dealt with as part of the package of of help TJ will need to get him caught up with his peers. He is also starting to sense that he is behind is slightly younger sister and often comments about what grade people are in, a fact he seemed oblivious to before.

Then he started reminiscing dreamily about the candies and (white, flat round?) cookies of China that he got at a little store, and that was the end of the sharing of significant details of his past, or maybe it was the beginning? As those days in China dissolve in his memory, we feel we need to mine his thoughts for details we can piece together into narratives he may want to hear when he is older. But maybe the past was fuzzy or painful or bitter, and the elusive sweetness of the flat, white cookie will be the remembrance he clings to.

Friday, November 18, 2011

It's National Adoption Month

And there is little time for posting, but lots of time for reflecting on whether there is
  • room in your heart and home for one more amazing kid,
  • initiative in your workplace to extend maternity/paternity benefits to adopting parents,
  • some spare change in your pocket for a charity assisting orphans in Haiti or China,
  • or a question you might have about the process. 
  • Let me know if I can help.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Headlines From the Homefront

Upside-down girl.
Eight-Pack of Target Neon Vampire Fangs a Big Hit

Power of the Press: Jiejie Discovers  Police Blotter in  HyperLocal Paper

Mom, Capitalizing on Interest in Reports of CVS Shoplifters and Public Urination Tries to Explain Who Qaddafi Was After Failing To Sum Up Wall Street
(Silently Wonders if Kid Peeing Behind Tree in Park Counts as Public Urination)

TJ Sleeps With Toy Catalog

Kindergarten Social Season Debut Falls Flat When Play Date Play Mate Has to Cancel

Another Day, Another Play Date
('Who Cares?' Says Meimei)

TJ Adopts Ringmaster Pose, Standing on Dining Room Chairs, Chanting 'Welcome, Welcome to the Car Race!'

ZhuZhu Pets Meet Remote-Control Mini Hydroplane

Jiejie Finds Homework Loophole; Notes That Assignment Says 'IF You Find and Interesting News Story, Summarize It' (Future Editor? Attorney? Literal Thinker?)


TJ Claims Teacher Says It's OK to Wear Halloween Costumes to School