Now it has become a nightly ritual. She finds a pretense for anger, or perhaps just an excuse for anger already bubbling within. Tonight it was my singing. "No singing!" she ordered. Of course she has never liked my singing. I resorted to recitation. "No talking!" she said even more sternly. I said good night and turned out the light (and no she's not sleeping in her own bed, in case anyone was wondering). I reminded her that I loved her forever, no matter what. "I DON'T love you forever!" was the reply.
 |
| Meimei in China, 2007 |
Further, she does not love her sister or brother. Only Daddy and one of her babysitters. Then she started trying to pound my hand with her little fist. I kept moving out of the way. She got me a few times. i told her it hurt and then reminded her we had a family rule against hitting. The hitting stopped. A minute or so later, I felt a small hand pushing against me.
"Do have to make a rule against pushing?"
She grunted.
I snorted, which usually makes her laugh.
She grunted a few times then dropped off to sleep.
In the daytime, she is as loving and eager to please as usual. Even then, she doesn't tolerate my singing, one of the few chinks in her armor of patience and compassion. Of course is any kid REALLY that compassionate at 4.5 years old? Now that we have determined she is not the panchen lama, we need to figure out what she's giving voice to --- something that always was there behind her meditative mien? Or just one of the many changes she's going through? And what does she need to hear from me in response?
No comments:
Post a Comment