Geronimo!

The kids are jumping from one bed to another.
"Row, row, row your boat. Get me down the stream," Meimei sings.
"Say Geronimo, TJ," Jiejie calls, taking a leap from the dresser onto the twin mattress -- TJ's sleeping spot -- on  the master bedroom floor."
"Geronimo!" TJ says, a little uncertainly.
Such is life when school is out and Daddy is away. Summer is drawing to a close. It's not as hot as it was, and today the kids went to the playground instead of the pool. Their school playground, that is. The only problem is, someone didn't want to play.
That would be TJ.
He avoided the playground entirely and instead sat with Haley and watched the ducks.
The perceptive Haley, who has observed TJ from day to day at the swimming pool and playground realized that every time a classmate greeted TJ, he shied away and pretended not to  know the child. Today, he stayed away from the play area where Jiejie and Meimei were running and climbing with Jackie, our new au pair. He extracted a promise that tomorrow the destination would be a different playground.
It has taken us more than seven months to understand, although we had a few clues earlier, what Haley summed up today. Sometimes, outside the home, perhaps a bit surprisingly, TJ does NOT like to be the center of attention. In fact he loathes it and wants to stay in the car or leave early or do anything but stay in a situation like that. Maybe that's why he hates birthday parties? It could be one reason why he doesn't like school, but that issue is a lot more complex and probably tied up with achievement issues and his allergy to anything remotely academic. Maybe because it's difficult to learn to read in another language? Maybe because there is some disconnect between what he sees and what he hears? Maybe because of the lack of real schooling before, or the association of teachers with punishment?
A few pieces are beginning to fall into place as we continue occupational therapy (and continue the fight with the insurance company to cover our work with therapists certified in the areas the kids need.) And a few more by personal observation. And even more with input from Haley, who seems to be a natural at teasing out social and developmental issues.
With her help we are beginning to see that the rigidly scheduled orphanage potty time that forces kids to deny what their bodies are telling them to do can lead to  health issues later.
Waiting so long to bring TJ home was nerve-wracking, but waiting to discover all the secrets his past holds and how he has been harmed and hampered by that past is hard to bear. We can't help repair the physical, emotional and neurological effects of years of neglect until we can grasp what they are.