Meimei Turns 5

It's hard to believe that Meimei is 5. Well, actually, I think she is probably a few months younger than that. The orphanages in China do not set much store by accurate record-keeping, and indeed the workers, with dozens or hundreds of children to deal with, probably do not have the time to keep track. Some anecdotal accounts indicate that random birth dates are assigned, but every orphanage is different and surely the intake procedures vary. Someday, we might have more information, but it's something to hope for, no something to count on.
With Meimei's birthday coming the day after school started, she maintained she was four-and-a-half until the last second, confusing some folks in Kindergarten who asked how old she was!

She had a very small family celebration with a special dinner (ok, it was Slacker Mom pizza and wings) and a cake sprinkled with tooth-shattering multicolored candy doggie bones. It was a lovely party, but something very important was missing. Daddy. He set off from his office by car at 4 for the 7:30 p.m. celebration. At 9:20 he had not called. Calls to his office and his cell phone and texts were unanswered. Dad turned up around 10, well past bedtime, bearing a sweet music box that played "Fur Elise" (can't find the umlaut). he had been waylaid by flooding that closed the roads, more than doubling the two-hour commute.  That same morning he had driven from home to the office after having come home for the first day of school. The backing and forthing is putting a lot of miles on Dad and on the car, which is truly a lemon and one that is racking up repair bills that are coming close to what we paid for it three years ago.

What's the solution? Pull the kids out of the school where TJ is finally at ease and Meimei has just begun? Where Jiejie is excelling and feeling secure? Put the house on the market and sell low and buy high? It is going to be hard to find a community as comfortable as this one, where everything is just right.

In the meantime, we are hoping Meimei will begin to accept her classmates as her new friends so we can have a real birthday party. She persuaded me to buy a boxful of themed favors online for a big puppy party, but she only wants to invite 5 children from her preschool, none of whom have turned up at our public school. She is starting to make friends, boys first of course, although there is a little girl in her class who may have been adopted from China or Vietnam. Meimei said, "She is my friend, but I free-got her name." I asked if she was from China. "Yes," Meimei told me matter-of-factly. How do you know, I asked. "Mom, I'm form China too, you know!"

Tapping Our Troubles Away

Everyone is settling into the school routine, although the weather is perfect now, so different from the last few weeks of summer vacation, that I don't know how the kids are keeping their minds on their classes. Perhaps they aren't.

I am getting an unusually close perspective on the after-school hours because I injured my ankle and have been hobbling around in a big black boot, between visits to the orthopedist and waiting for insurance approval of an MRI. First there was a broken bone; then there wasn't. Now the suspicion is a torn tendon. In the meantime, I am working from home and waiting for that MRI, and hearing the school bulletins up-close and personal, as they say.

Meimei has reconnected with a friend she used to have play dates with by virtue of an au pair connection. Will Leo replace Shane in her affections? She happily reported today that she and Leo bedded down side by side at rest time at school. Meimei loves Kindergarten and has treated us to a few songs, including a somewhat fractured version of "If I Had a Hammer." Note to self: record this.

Jiejie seems to be struggling a bit with the homework load for third grade. Or is it because Mom is home that she is so squirmy and unwilling to  settle down to work. She has missed her TV time every day so far as she labors (or sits next to me at the dining room table fidgeting) over the year-by-year timeline of her life, due Friday. She has three years done so far and a start on a fourth, then four more to go. I promised to print out the photos she needs. The tonight I checked out the homework folder and found the next big assignment: writing and illustrating a theory for the creation of the universe. Sheesh! I hope they get at least seven days! Seriously, it's a creative and clever assignment and I'm glad we live in a district where this is an option. On the other hand, I don't know if the Big Cat Theory will pass muster.

TJ is delighted to see that he is not the only one who doesn't like homework, and has made a point of noting that Jiejie, in her restlessness about homework,  is "Just like me!" Time to manufacture some homework for TJ!

He said tonight he wants to take tap class with Jiejie. I can see it all now.

Back to Stress

This year we started the school year with a bit more organization than my usual slacker mom lackadaisical planning. My conclusion? It doesn't make a bit of difference!

Yesterday, the day before kindergarten, Meimei and I went to the ice cream social/getting to know you party at her new school. (OK, it's weird to give kids ice cream from 4-5 p.m., but what do I know?) She was a bit shy but very polite, full of please and thank you and willing to tell people her name. She even giggled a little, colored some pictures and generally seemed to have fun.

On the way home she professed to be craving mac and cheese, so off we went for some alone time. Walking through the parking lot on the way to mac and cheese we saw anew clothing shop. Meimei was very interested, so after a bite to eat, flower cookie and some lemonade, we headed next door to the pricey looking new boutique and found a not too terribly expensive but very fashionable long, ruched tee in her favorite blue and a baby-soft pair of jeggings. She wore them today for the first day of kindergarten where I was the last parent to leave the room after disengaging Meimei from my leg. I am sad to see her start school, but proud and happy and wondering if that tiny, tearful little thing will get through the day. I know she will. Kids always do, right? It's just so hard to leave her there sobbing, "Why do I have to go to school? I want Mama!"

While I was up in the Kindergarten room, Daddy was downstairs in the nurse's office with TJ, who was screaming. He screamed about getting out of bed and had to be carried downstairs. He refused to eat his breakfast, ordered the night before. He crawled under the table and lay there holding onto the table leg. Finally I coaxed him out but could not get him to eat even a bite, brush his teeth or use the restroom. Reluctantly he let me  walk him to the car and buckle him in. When we got to school, however, he clung to the car door. I had to sort of pull him along, fighting his resistance as it increased with every step toward the school door. We were blocking traffic as other families hurried in, trying to get out of the rain. People said good morning; TJ screamed.


By the time we left school, TJ was sitting on the floor outside class with his teacher and the school nurse squatting beside him trying to gently talk him into joining the class. They said they'd be in touch. Outside the door the new principal reassured us that he would be OK. I hope sometime soon she reads my email and responds to my phone message about the urgency of getting TJ evaluated so he can start getting some of the services he needs. Onward to start the working day and find more caffeine. Lots more. The idea of breakfast seems repugnant, though. The school anxiety diet? Burn calories with empathy for your kids in transition? Perhaps there's something to this.

Dialogues of the Caramel-Eaters

Jiejie and Meimei enraptured by Taylor Swift concert DVD, ignoring requests by Mom to turn it off.

Mom: Eject the disc.

Jiejie: One more minute?

Meimei shimmies in a way Taylor Swift never would and sings along.

Mom: Eject the disc now. You can bring it upstairs and watch the rest.

Jiejie: TJ, do you like Taylor Swift?

TJ: No way! I watch "Pink Panther."

Headlines

Jiejie Sells Yarn to Meimei
At Extortionate Prices
To Help Finance Purchase
Of American Girl Doll

TJ Discovers the Power
Of the Primal Scream
Over and Over and Over
And Over and Over Again

Meimei Counts Down
To Kindergarten
And Fifth Birthday

TJ Notices Target's Lingerie Department

Mom Unhappy to Come Home To Malodorous Gallery of Nail-Polish Paintings

Jiejie Suggests Compromise on Use of Inappropriate Language;  From Now On, 'Bleep' Is the Word